Fire Bob Matthews

Tom Batzold hates everyone – particularly readers, women in general

2006-07-20T21:07:00.000-04:00

Check out one of today's “hilarious” “news” items from Tommy's favorite soccer hating columnist, Jim Armstrong:

”Just wondering: How many trees have died and how much cyberspace has been polluted to chronicle the exploits of Danica Patrick and Michelle Wie, neither of whom has watched a Sunday sunset with a victory to call her own?”

Can Mr. Batzold be advocating that sports journalists should only cover winners? Let's make some minor changes to that statement and find out:

”Just wondering: How many trees have died and how much cyberspace has been polluted to chronicle the exploits of J.P Losman and Willis McGahee, neither of whom has watched a Sunday sunset with a playoff victory to call his own?”

Hmm, that doesn't really fit with Mr. Batzold's editorial philosophy, so he must mean something else. The only other alternative is that he is advocating that only crew-cut, cleft jaw, Johnny Unitas types deserve the precious space in newspapers and blogs.

I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised at such an anachronistic view given the disgusting old white guy network that got Mr. Batzold his job. After all, only five (5!) AP sports editors are black, and women comprise 12.6 percent of sports journalists. No wonder we get such mediocre, narrow minded sports coverage.

What's wrong with this sentence?

2006-07-20T18:40:00.000-04:00

From today's D&C (just an example of the idiocy that the good people of Rochester deal with on a daily basis):

"The underdog Rochester Raiders will have history on their side in their bid to upset the undefeated host Port Huron Pirates Saturday night in Great Lakes Bowl I."

BM and I share more than just our love of horse racing...

2006-07-17T19:12:00.000-04:00

Now I know many of you out there believe that the summer sports scene is ruled by the Tour de France, the World Cup of Softball, and professional domino-playing, but true football fans like BM and myself have our eyes on the true prize of July: NFL training camps. As if reading my mind, BM recently started this NFL preseason off right by ranking each team's quarterback situation from 1st to 32nd. I think most people outside of Indianapolis would agree with BM that New England's Tom Brady provides the Patriots with the league's top QB situation. Kudos to BM for valuing wins over gaudy stats. Now, let's see if BM can stay consistent with this value throughout the course of this list (because, as we all know, the consistency of your BMs is very important). Here are my critiques:

Ranked Too High:
4. Carolina - No huge criticisim here, I just think it's a stretch to put Delhomme above people like McNabb and Roethlisberger. We'll agree to disagree.

6. Cincinnati - Now, I'm no doctor (wait a second...), but when your star quarterback is coming off a major injury, particularly one suffered so late in the season, you're coming into July with a whole lotta questions. If not for Carson Palmer getting KvO'ed (Kimo von Oelhoffen'ed) in the knee last January, I'd say this ranking were just right. But, given the uncertainty, they simply can't get a #6 ranking.

8. Miami - Yeah that's right, I said it. Look, I haven't been this excited about the Dolphins' QB situation since I bought my very own Jay Fiedler jersey back in 2001. But there are plenty of uncertainties about Culpepper coming into July (see also my rationale about Carson Palmer). The good thing for Culpepper is that his injury happened much earlier in the season than Palmer's. The bad thing is that he was having a very shaky season even before the injury last year. I agree with BM that Culpepper will be an absolute steal for the Fins (traded straight-up for a 2nd round pick -- used on Texas CB Cedric Griffin) if he regains his 2004 form and is healthy, but that's an awfully big "if".

13. Baltimore - Isn't Steve McNair missing an elbow, a spleen, four toes, three of his parathyroid glands, and a knee cap by now? How much longer can this guy live, let alone play football?? And Kyle Boller as your back-up? Let's move on...

19. Arizona - I think it's reasonable to assume that the Cardinals' QBs will collectively put up some huge numbers this year given their WR corps and huge RB upgrade (last season: three lepers and my grandmother; this season: a moderately-over-the-hill Edgerrin James), but that doesn't mean that Kurt Warner is any good. Matt Leinert may very well develop into a very good QB soon (maybe even this season), but he needs to prove it first. I think BM is still pouting that Buffalo preferred Donte Whitner to Matt Leinert; he was really hoping to get a chance to offer Leinert his first-born in person.

21. Chicago - I assumed my awesome 2006 Lindy's Pro Football Season Preview magazine had failed me when I lookd up the Bears' QBs and saw only Brian Griese, Kyle Orton, and Rex Grossman... I saw three back-ups and was wondering where their starting QB was.

28. Buffalo - It's hard to be overrated at #28, but the Bills are. I'd rather have an uber-gimpy Chad Pennington, a half-retarded Aaron Brooks, or even a deer-in-the-headlights Alex Smith than the three-headed Loscombnall monster. When your big offseason pick-up is Craig Nall, you'd better check and make sure you don't have a senile octogenarian running your team.

Ranked Too Low:
7. Pittsburgh - Hmmm, the consistency of my BM seems a bit irregular. We're lauding Tom Brady for his winning record and clutch wins, and yet Roethlisberger -- whose winning percentage is off-the-charts and who is now sporting a brand spanking new Super Bowl ring to match the shiny, untouched motorcycle helmet sitting on his garage shelf -- gets pushed down to #7?

9. Kansas City - I'm nit-picking... I woulda put Green at #7 or so... that's all.

15. St. Louis - True Mark Bulger's injury history is growing more McNair-like every week... but Gus Frerotte gives St. Louis a very capable back-up and gives them a big edge over #13 Baltimore and other teams with papier mache signal callers.

17. Jacksonville - I think this is the grossest mistake on the list. Leftwich has had some fabulous performances in his first two years as a pro and has helped get this franchise moving quickly in the right direction. Sure, he's far from a perfect QB, but unlike other overtly flawed guys (see: Plummer, Jake; Brooks, Aaron; Manning, Eli; et al.), he's become exceptionally good at adapting his game to his strengths and minimizing situations that expose his weaknesses. And as far as his durabilitty goes, David Garrard is a much passer than 90% of the league's #2's and 10% of the league's starters.

22. Green Bay - Farve's ablities have taken a slight free-fall over the past three years, but he's always going to be leagues better than Kurt Warner, David Carr, and "The Chicago Three".

23. Washington - Also somewhat of a nitpick... Brunell had a surprisingly good 2005 season and Jason Campbell supposedly has some pretty good promise. Deserves better than #23 is all I'm saying...

27. San Diego - Philip Rivers is the former #4 pick in the draft, last I checked. And even moreso, he inspired enough confidence in GM AJ Smith that they let the gimpy but suddenly stellar Drew Brees walk without a wink of compensation. I'm not saying he's top-ten material, but Rivers certainly deserves more than to be lumped in the same breath with Loscombnall, Billy Volek, and anything that Matt Millen has put together.

30. Oakland - Aaron Brooks is a dumbass. But he's reasonably talented and will do better than third-to-worst in the league.

Are you ready for some football, mofos?

Being Pat Neshek

2006-07-10T14:16:00.000-04:00

Neshek finally got called up to the Twins a few days ago and has pitched at least once. You should check out his website for a couple good article about what it's like getting the call to the Show. My favorite non-baseball-related part:

After BP was over I was informed that I inherited the Orange Spongebob Squarepants backpack/rollaway bag from Willie Eyre. From this day on I have to fill up the bag with beverages and goodies and wheel the bag out to the bullpen. The only time I will be fulfilled of this duty is if another bullpen member with no MLB experience comes up.

And this was interesting:

The one difference with the balls from AAA balls is the leather. MLB balls are a lot finer quality leather and a little tougher to get a good grip on.

Could that explain why the International League is such a huge pitchers' league?

Maybe Mr. Matthews needs an intern

2006-07-04T11:30:00.000-04:00

Obviously he doesn't bother with facts, and as far as I can tell, Tom Batzold just sits at his desk reading his favorite soccer hating columnists. Luckily, we here at FBM are actually paying attention.

In today's column, Mr. Matthews notes how forgiving American sports fans are compared to soccer fans in Europe, and tries to cram captain overrated into the debate:

Captains and managers have it easy compared to their English soccer counterparts. Derek Jeter didn't step down as captain ... after the heavily favored New York Yankees lost the 2001 World Series to Arizona.

The only way I can figure that happening is if Mr. Jeter invested some of that money he stole from the Yankees into construction of a time machine so he could travel back to 2001 from June 3, 2003 in order to hold a press conference resigning from the captaincy before it was offered.

The Rochester Democrat and Chronicle: Fact free since 1833!

Hell, that evens rhymes.

What is the Over/Under on Mr. Matthews' Cholesterol?

2006-06-28T21:54:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, Mr. Matthews' column included the incredibly morbid list of things he doesn't expect to live long enough to see. Since he doesn't plan on checking out for at least a few decades we here at FBM hope he works out a lot, or at least looks better in person than in his newspaper mugshot.

On the list:

The Buffalo Bills win a Super Bowl

I'll bet they have a pretty good chance once they move to LA, or NC, or wherever. With the current “leadership” of Ralph Wilson, his shuffleboard buddy Marv Levy, and proven loser Dick “But I went to Yale, I must be able to coach football,” Jauron, they have as much hope as Mr. Matthews writing a column without bullet points or lists.

My buddy Bud Selig make the Hall of Fame

I wasn't aware Messrs. Matthews and Selig had ever met, but all steroid scandals aside, Selig has been great for baseball. The wildcard and interleague play have both been tremendous, there has been franchise stability, and new ballparks are being built all over the country. According to their own press release major and minor league baseball have set attendance records each of the last two seasons. I think Mr. Selig gets to use the phrase “My Bitch, Bob Matthews.”

A major sports league reduce the number of games in the regular season...

In 1995, the Premiership (otherwise known as the fourth best attended sports league in the world) reduced the number of teams by two, which meant four less games for the remaining teams. I would make a bad joke about Mr. Matthews being born yesterday, but that would just be terrible.

The Buffalo Sabres win a Stanley cup...

They have gone deep into the playoffs twice in the past seven years, so this seems like a pretty bold statement. Someone just needs to pry Tommy G's wallet open a little wider.

The United States men's soccer team win a World Cup

Now, sometimes it may seem as if Mr. Matthews ignores facts, but even he must have noticed every single kid in Rochester playing soccer as they grow up. As the Tom Batzolds of the world retire or die off, soccer will receive more media attention, and these kids will be encouraged to continue on with soccer as they get older. I would say that the odds are decent that the USMNT will win the World Cup withing the next 30 years.

2006-06-28T08:06:00.000-04:00

I think I found my mojo, men. Let's see what sort of shit BM's up to these days:

Several weeks ago, I annoyed some New York Yankees faithful by speculating that Jose Reyes and David Wright of the New York Mets might have the best left side of the infield in baseball in four or five years, taking over that distinction from future Hall of Famers Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees. It might happen much sooner than I thought.

BM is about to present a wealth of weak 2006 data to support his claim, but really, is half a year long enough to support this type of decision? Does anyone really think ARod will slug only .487 the whole year? Does anyone realize Derek Jeter's having a freaking good year, better than Jose Reyes' media-whoring performance? Remember when Jose Lima won 20 games -- yeah, things happen in the short term that end up being laughed at long term.

That being said, it's not that crazy to think the Mets' duo is as valuable as the Yankees', if only because of David Wright. If I had the choice of any of these four players for the next five years, hell, even three years, I'd go with David Wright -- that guy's a stud.

Jeter and Rodriguez — .308 batting average (166-for-539), 27 doubles, 3 triples, 20 home runs, 98 RBI, 259 total bases, 85 walks, 114 strikeouts, 22 stolen bases in 27 attempts, 17 errors.

Reyes and Wright — .318 batting average (196-for-617), 38 doubles, 13 triples, 26 HRs, 100 RBI, 338 total bases, 61 walks, 95 strikeouts, 45 stolen bases in 55 attempts, 16 errors.

Ow, my head hurts. Including all those numbers is retarded, but if you're going to do it, BM, how about a chart? Here's my version, with useful numbers and helpful formatting:

Name VORP VORPr FRAA
Jeter 34.7 .48 -5
ARod 21.3 .29 0
Reyes 31.9 .40 +6
Wright 39.7 .53 -7

VORP = runs above replacement relative to position
VORPr = per game rate
FRAA = fielding runs relative to positional average

It will be an upset if an American golfer wins this week's U.S. Women's Open, but recent history at least gives the U.S. players a chance. Since the start of the 2001 season, foreign players have won 19 of the 22 LPGA majors, including every Kraft Nabisco Championship, McDonald's Championship and British Open. But Americans managed to win three of the five U.S. Opens (Juli Inkster in 2002, Hilary Lunke in 2003 and Meg Mallon in 2004).

If I've learned anything from reading BM over the past two months, it's that foreign golfers (especially Koreans) dominate women's golf. I feel so informed.

Steve Finley and Reggie Sanders recently became the fifth and sixth members of baseball's exclusive 300-300 Club (at least 300 home runs and at least 300 stolen bases for their careers). The feat requires a combination of power, speed and longevity. But it hasn't been an automatic ticket to the Hall of Fame.

Instead of proceeding to lay out the obvious argument why it's not an automatic ticket (SBs mean shit and 300 HRs is a low cutoff point for the Hall), BM waxes nostalgic about two players he watched here in Rochester that he thought would be 300/300 performers. Neither made it.

Add Milwaukee's Carlos Lee to the list of outfielders the Yankees probably could have for pitching prospect Philip Hughes. If I were running a team with the money the Yankees have, I'd trade a young pitcher for a quality hitter for the stretch run without hesitation.

Why are we now adding Lee's name to that list? Because he's been on a tear? Wouldn't his increased performance make it less likely the Yankees could acquire him for their scrub pitching prospect? Perhaps BM meant to write "Add Milwaukee's Carlos Lee to the list of outfielders the Yankees will try to finagle away from another team because even they can recognize that hitting 25 HRs before the All-Star break is a good thing."

Sorry, Swiss soccer fans, but any team that goes 0-for-3 in a penalty shootout to settle a 0-0 draw doesn't deserve to advance in the World Cup or any other cup.

That's what you have to say about the World Cup? Screw that. How about the fact that the Ukraine/Switzerland was an awful game with both teams playing not to lose. How about commentary on the England match? How about an explanation why all the teams seem to be playing similar styles of soccer which comes across as slow, uncreative, and whiney? Or maybe your real idea was stolen by an economics geek: Freakonomics link.

The Revenge of Billy Beane

2006-06-19T00:03:00.000-04:00

Scott Pitoniak, one of the Mantle-era Yankee obsessed sportswriters for the D&C published a fawning article about Greece Athena Senior to be Brian Dupra on Friday. Check out some “highlights”:

John Valle never brings a radar gun with him when he is checking out pitching prospects as a part-time scout for the New York Mets. Instead, the former Rochester Red Wings outfielder relies on the instincts he developed from 13 seasons as a professional baseball player. "I try to envision myself up at the plate against the pitcher," Valle says. "I'll ask myself, 'Could I hit this guy?'"

John Valle never made it to the majors, so his sole criterion is perhaps a little weak. If the Mets were looking for a former Red Wings player to make this judgment, maybe they should see what Stan Musial is up to.

Although his junior season was cut short by a strained throwing shoulder...

Sounds great! As long as he looks like a ballplayer, it should be awesome, right?

Valle is as impressed with Dupra's work ethic and maturity as he is with the live arm. The diamond isn't the only place Dupra excels. He's also an honor student who has acted in school plays and sung in select choir.

He sings choir? How fast can we sign him to a contract? The hell with things like striking people out or not having an injured shoulder, I am goddamn sold.

One of his greatest attributes is humility. He is beloved by his teammates and fellow students because he is so down-to-earth.
"He doesn't walk around school like he is better than everybody else," says Athena varsity coach Jason Bunting. "He is a very caring young man. He's the type of kid who will take time out to help out or encourage someone on the JV or modified team. As good a baseball player as he is, he's an even better person."

Fuck the JV team, I want my ace pitcher to be a mean bastard that will strike people out, brush hitters back, and throw Robin Ventura in a headlock and nail him with overhand rights when he charges the mound. Barry Bonds may be an asshole in the clubhouse, but I would still want him on my team.

Though Dupra's high school stats are impressive in several categories, they don't blow you away. He has a very respectable 1.97 earned-run average and great control — 92 strikeouts and just 21 walks in 89 innings. His 6-6 record with four saves would be better if he had received better support at the plate and in the field.

Stats? What are those? I thought we already decided that he was such a nice boy who deserved our support, and who could totally date our underage daughters because of his angelic choir voice.

Hey Robyn J. Kraft – learn how to write!

2006-06-18T23:28:00.000-04:00

You see, Robyn, there are these cool new things called paragraphs, which you should probably learn how to use. Your article about the Rochester Twilight Criterium is severely lacking in them. Unless you are an award winning sports journalist like Mr. Matthews, you should stay away from the convenient question and answer format, because it really isn't too hard to string the facts in the press release together in the series of sentences that comprise the “paragraph”.

To the rest of you, please do not let Ms. Kraft's lackluster article deter you from attending the event, since it is a ton of fun. I would be attending myself if I wasn't going to be busy charring meat and drinking beer that night.

Nobody scores in the International League

2006-06-11T22:17:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, Mr. Matthews wrote a column detailing his reasons to like the Red Wings. Since FCster is busy singing Celine Dion songs and driving all over the country, I am going to tell you what Mr. Matthews really should have written.

”Offense - Leads the 14-team IL with a .269 team batting average. Second in runs (260). Tied for 10th in home runs (32) but first in triples (20), second in doubles (117) and tied for first in total bases (772). The Wings don't walk a lot (159 walks rank 12th), but they don't often strike out (second-fewest 351).”

Starting from the last item, apparently Mr. Matthews didn't get my memo that strikeouts don't matter. One would think that a trained sports journalism professional would have figured that out by now. Maybe the only other baseball coverage he listens to is from Joe Morgan.

The Wings could be even better offensively if they had better plate discipline – a week after Mr. Matthews wrote his column, they still rank 12th in walks, and 11th in OBP. Despite playing home games in a pitching-friendly ballpark, they are tied for first in SLG even though they are 11th in home runs.

The 1-2-3 hitters in the lineup — Jason Tyner (.315), Jason Bartlett (.307) and Josh Rabe (.304) — are among the top nine batting averages in the IL.

Only one of them, Rabe, is among the top 20 in OBP. Bartlett has a pathetic eight walks!

Bullpen — The big surprise. It has been outstanding: ...Beau Kemp [and] Henry Bonilla ... have been solid set-up men for closer Pat Neshek ...

Beau Kemp has more walks than strikeouts. Henry Bonilla has an ERA of 4.93, above the IL average of 3.59.

Managing - Stan and pitching coach Stu Cliburn, his twin brother, have had a knack for knowing when to make pitching changes.

Do you have any evidence for this statement, Bob?

Attitude — Good chemistry.

I think that may be one of those evil intangibles that writers make up so they can praise people like Derek Jeter. A team of nine Barry Bonds' would hate each other, but score like a hundred runs a game.

Defense — It isn't great, but it isn't bad. The Wings have 44 errors through 56 games and rank sixth in fielding percentage.

Since we here at FBM support stats that actually mean something, I had FCster calculate defense efficiency ratio for the IL. He had to do a little fudging due to incomplete stats, but the Wings are fourth or fifth, at around 71.6%.

Mr. Matthews then lists some potential trouble spots, including Starting pitching — J.D. Durbin is pitching like the Twins expected him to in recent past seasons.

J.D. Durbin appears to be the beneficiary of solid defense, since he has only 1.44 strikeouts per walk. Look for his ERA to increase if he doesn't show better control.

Pete Munro is reliable.

Pretend it says below average there instead of reliable, since Munro's ERA is 4.08 compared to the league average of 3.59.

BM actually likes soccer... but is still an idiot

2006-06-11T12:56:00.000-04:00

So as it's halftime during "The World Cup Game That America Hates" (i.e. Iran vs. Mexico), I felt it would be a good time to see what sort of drivel BM has splattered on the pages of the D&C this morning. Imagine my surprise then when he begins his column with this:

"For one month every four years, I wish soccer was my favorite sport."

Is he actually going to say good things about the World Cup? Is soccer-hater Tom Batzold going to stand for this?? Let's ignore for one second the fact that Rochester's most popular sports team is it's A-league soccer franchise the Raging Rhinos, for whom a brand new soccer stadium just opened. I just assumed that all of the monkeys-with-typewriters at the D&C sports section were dumb World Cup-hating Americans like the rest of the country. Intrigued, I read on. He proceeded to talk about how great a sport soccer is since it inspires such passion in both its players and fans, and that we're all ugly Americans for hating soccer, etc etc. All good things. My jaw was literally agape in shock.

But then comes this:

I am embarrassed that we call the sport soccer while nearly every other country in the world calls it football. The rest of the world is right and we are wrong.

I've suggested this before but I'm more convinced than ever that our football should be called tackleball — the NFL should be the NTL — and that the U.S. national soccer team should be the U.S. national football team.

Ex-CUSE me? Tackleball? Are you high, man?

First off, a correction. I'm hardly a world traveller, but even I know that we're not the only country to call it soccer. Why, just this past April in Ireland, I learned that the Irish also use the term soccer, in part because they have their own sport which they call Irish Football (or Gaelic Football to us outsiders).

But tackleball?? That sounds like some backyard game invented by Calvin and Hobbes, not a multibillion dollar sports juggernaut. What do you call the ball itself in tackleball, BM? Is it a football? Is it a tackleball? Or how about we call it a "throwball" if we're getting all literal here. And why stop there? What kind of a name is "baseball" anyways? It should be batandstickball and the league should be MLBASB. Basketball would be wannaberappersthrowingroundorangeball and the NBA would become the NWBRTROBA.

And don't get me started on hockey!

(Dumbass)

Tom Batzold really really hates soccer

2006-06-10T14:24:00.000-04:00

This morning, while watching the England v. Paraguay match, I pull open my D & C to see what fine sports journalism I am paying for this morning. Would the lead article be a recap of the Rhinos match, the lady Rhinos match, or the thrilling 4-2 Germany win in the opening match of the World Cup?

Of course not, we get the most boring article of all time, a summary of the Bills' training camp schedule. In case you've forgotten, the Bills are a terrible team run by senile old men and coached by a proven loser. The Rhinos are the most successful franchise in Rochester history, and the World Cup is the most watched sporting event in the world.

In the “Hilarious news items” section, Mr. Batzold includes this:

Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Sure sign No. 4,296 that you don't have a life: You plan to TiVo the World Cup, which comes in just ahead of you're in a NASCAR fantasy league and right behind your bid on Luis Gonzalez's used chewing gun on eBay.”

Hey Jim, according to FIFA there were 28.8 billion viewers over the 25 days of the last world cup. I guess that makes for a lot of losers, huh? Did you and little Tommy Batzold get cut from the same under 6 soccer team back in the day?

Self-Plagiarism?

2006-06-07T11:58:00.000-04:00

I don't have time right now to check the archives, but I swear this paragraph from yesterday's BM column was used in a prior column:

It won't be a surprise if a South Korean will win this week's McDonald's LPGA Championship. There have been 13 LPGA tournaments this year, and the 11 foreign winners include six different South Koreans — Hee-Won Han, Joo Mi Kim, Mi Huyn Kim, Meena Lee, Seon Hwa Lee and Sung Ah Yim. They're all headed to Rochester for the Wegmans LPGA at Locust Hill June 22-25.

Dear Mr. Batzold and Mr. Lupica,

2006-06-05T21:13:00.000-04:00

As was researched TWO WEEKS AGO (i.e. when anyone cared about the Belmont Stakes) by ESPN, there have been four previous Belmonts that lacked the winner of both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness. And, in case you were wondering, there's this autistic kid from Greece Athena who apparently had a good basketball game recently.

Love,
Your friendly horse racing expert

(6 weeks till NFL training camps)

Is anyone here a Marine Biologist Sports Journalist?

2006-06-05T18:15:00.000-04:00

From Mr. Batzold's hilarious news items section:

Mike Lupica in the New York Daily News: "Has there ever been a time when two different horses won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness and neither one of them made it to the Belmont?"

What the hell are you asking me for? I'm a scientist. Too bad we don't have a trained sports journalism professional who could look up the answer.

What exactly is that sentence about anyway? It isn't funny, and I'm pretty sure it isn't an ironic observation by Mr. Lupica that he can do absolutely no work and still get garbage published. We need to bring peer review to the media.

I'm not sure if FCster knows where the train station is, but I am sure BM doesn't know much about baseball

2006-06-03T14:31:00.000-04:00

FCster didn't write this column like he promised, so I will give it a shot.

In Sunday's Paper, Mr. Matthews gives his baseball first quarter report , and it gets off to a rough start:

”American League Most Valuable Player — Derek Jeter (New York), with Jim Thome (Chicago) close behind. Jeter has never won an MVP award, but Mr. Intangible...”

I know Mr. Matthews is planning a “strong” argument when intangibles come out in the second sentence. Can we talk about productive outs, “smart” play, clutch situations, and playing in the pressure of NYC too?

”...is off to a terrific start offensively and defensively this season.”

True, Jeter is off to a relatively terrific start, with his .427 OBP and .493 SLG both being the second best of his career. However, Jeter ranks 6th in the league in on-base percentage, 33rd in slugging, and his pathetic 5 home runs is tied for 57th with perpetual whipping boy Tony Batista. MVP of the league? He isn't even the MVP of his team – that would be Jason Giambi with his league leading .448 OBP.

”Thome leads the AL in HRs and RBI ...”

Huh, those sound like pretty good reasons to be considered the leading MVP candidate. He also is leading the league in slugging, OPS, and runs created, and is second in walks. Maybe being prettier than Thome is the intangible Mr. Matthews was talking about, since Jeter is behind in all the important stats. BS like this is why Jeter is the most overrated player of all time.

Mr. Matthews goes on to talk about various other categories: ”Top flop starting rotation — Minnesota, with veterans Brad Radke, Carlos Silva and Kyle Lohse. Their combined pitching line: 8-16 record; 8.13 ERA; 144 innings; 222 hits allowed (including 35 HRs). “

I would argue that this would be the top managerial flop, since Ron Gardenhire kept putting these guys out there when they weren't getting the job done instead of turning to Liriano and Boof earlier. You can check out FCsters in depth coverage of the issue here. While I am insulting Mr. Gardenhire, he also lets Rondell White, Tony Batista, and Juan Castro try to hit. Does anyone else think he might be a saboteur secretly working for the White Sox?

”Teams most likely to improve — Toronto...in the AL.”

Toronto is playing right at their expected wins level; their offense is excellent, but their pitching is mediocre. They are 9th in the league in ERA despite having the third best defense efficiency ratio. The only way I can see them improving is if they cut down on walks allowed (9th in the AL).

”Team most likely to slip — Cincinnati, with too little quality pitching and too many undisciplined hitters. “

OK, so they do have too little quality pitching, but undisciplined hitting? The Reds are second in the NL with 230 walks, so I can only assume Mr. Matthews meant “too many hitters that strike out a lot.” Note to Mr. Matthews: Strikeouts and all outs are virually equivalent in terms of negative run expectancy. Check out this handy chart. After that, look at the at bats per strikeout career leaderboard and let me know how many of your all time greatest 24 are on that list.

”Most costly injuries — Broken wrists for OF Hideki Matsui (New York AL) and 1B Derrek Lee (Chicago NL). If the Yankees don't make the playoffs, their fate was sealed on May 11, when they lost their steadiest and most underappreciated player.”

What the hell does steadiest mean? If you mean best, that would be Giambi, and he is still playing.

”The Cubs have been among baseball's worst hitting teams since Lee went down and probably won't have time to make a bid for the playoffs when he returns. “

Those are all true statements, but ignore the fact that the Cubs can't pitch either. Woods and Prior being perpetually injured are way more damaging to the club.

BM is a homer

2006-05-29T14:48:00.000-04:00

This is always a dead time of year in the sports world. I mean, the NFL Draft is a month old, NFL training camps are a month and a half away, and the NFL Playoffs don't start for a whopping SEVEN months! Even NFL Europe is done for the season. But luckily BM was kind enough to throw us football junkies a small bone in today's column, written in a pointless Action/Reaction style:

Action: The MGM Mirage Race & Sports Book in Las Vegas releases updated odds to win the 2006 AFC East and Super Bowl XLI -- New England 5-to-2 and 9-to-2; Miami 6-to-1 and 12-to-1; Buffalo 30-to-1 and 50-to-1; New York Jets 35-to-1 and 75-to-1.

Reaction: When exactly did the Dolphins get so good?

Personal aside: In the interest of full disclosure, I must, before proceeding, mention that I am a lifelong Miami Dolphins fan in spite of my Western NY upbringing.

First off, a point about gambling odds. Too often, sportswriters misinterpret Vegas odds and pointspreads as predictions on the outcomes of sporting events. Las Vegas bookmakers are in the business of making money. That's it. Their odds reflect predictions on how people are going to bet and NOT on the actual outcomes of sporting events. When making pointspreads, for instance, oddsmakers attempt to set a pointspread such that 50% of bettors will take the favorite, and 50% will take the points. That way (except in the case of a push), the money Vegas keeps will exactly equal the money they pay out minus the vigs which they rake in as pure profit.

In talking about fractional odds, although the Dolphins are 6-to-1 odds to win the AFC East, Vegas is not declaring that they have a 16% chance of winning it. That's not how fractional odds work. For instance, although Barbaro was even money (1-to-1 odds) to win the Preakness, the oddsmakers were clearly not predicting that he had a 100% chance of winning the race (matter of fact, with a broken leg, Matty Y's bookkeeping service predicts he has a 0% chance of winning the Belmont).

Now, on to the actual football side of things. With his rhetorical question about when the Dolphins got "so good," BM is trying to do one of two things. One possibility is that he is trying to ridicule the professional Vegas oddsmakers for giving decent odds to a team that he clearly feels doesn't deserve them (BM is, after all, an unabashed homer). The other possibility is that he, as a "professional sportswriter" actually didn't realize how good a team the Dolphins might be. I'm going to assume his question reflected the latter possibility and benevolently bestow upon him my admittedly biased views on the current Miami Football Dolphins.

Let us first take a trip down memory lane to November and December of 2005 when the Dolphins closed the season with a 6-game winning streak (note that the only other team with an active 6-game win streak is the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers) to finish 9-7, the same record as the AFC East Champion New England Patriots (the Patriots won the division based on tiebreakers). Remember too that this win streak was orchestrated by a team with a first-time head coach, a whole lotta nothing in the secondary, and the two-headed QB monster of Gus Frerotte and Sage Rosenfels.

Now fast-forward to the present. The Dolphins have traded a whopping 2nd round draft pick for multi-time Pro Bowler and onetime Love Boat captain Daunte Culpepper. Even with his questionable defense-reading, poor 2005 season, and mending knee, he's a huge upgrade over the since-departed Frerosenfels (remember 2004 when he posted MVP-caliber numbers even with Randy Moss missing about 40% of the season?). Ricky Williams is enjoying Canada's finest lagers, weed, and danse contact due to yet another suspension, but luckily they have the number 2 overall pick in the 05 draft, Ronnie Brown, ready to carry the load. And, oh yeah, they have Nick Saban and Randy Mueller. The same Nick Saban whose 2005 Draft created starters out of his 1st, 3rd, and 4th round draft picks. The same Randy Mueller who fleeced Dave Wannstedt out of TWO first round draft picks for the aforementioned Ricky Williams. But I suppose they're no Dick Jauron & Marv Levy, right BM? (Donte Whitner at #8?? Really??) Oh and did I mention that their coordinators are Dom "4-3 defenses are for pussies" Capers and Mike "at least I'm a good coordinator" Mularkey?

Look, obviously I'm biased. But my point here is that the Dolphins proved in 2005 that they could compete with virtually any team in the league and went from 4-12 laughingstocks to 9-7 division contenders. Factor in the players having a year of experience in the Saban System under their belt, a new, albeit gimpy, franchise QB, and a very solid all-around offseason (How many other AFC East teams can claim that? Put your hand down Eric Mangini). The Dolphins might not win the AFC East. They might not even have a winning record. But at this point in the annual black hole of the sports world, they seem, on paper at least, to be a pretty good bet to be contenders.

I too would HATE to have the number one pick in the draft

2006-05-27T01:18:00.000-04:00

Our main-man BM is at it again. In his Thursday column, he throws out this winner:

The Toronto Raptors picked a lousy year to win the NBA draft lottery. There is no player coming out this year who towers above the rest in terms of being ready to start immediately in the NBA or help turn a franchise around in the near future. Adam Morrison, LaMarcus Aldridge and Tyrus Thomas are accomplished college players with lots to prove in the pros.

Now, I'm not an "NBA DRAFT Expert," but I thought it would be interesting (after 3 Bushmills whiskeys) to see if any of the last 5 drafts had really contained no talent in the top 3 picks. So here we go:

2005 - 1. Andrew Bogut 2. Marvin Williams 3. Deron Williams

It's really early to judge these 3, but after 1 year, I know the guys in Milwaukee are really high on Bogut. (Side note: Milwaukee is Algonquin for "the good land." Which is great and all, but the Iroquois could totally whip some Algonquin ass back in the day -- Western NY in the HOUSE!!! But I digress...)

2004 - 1. Dwight Howard 2. Emeka Okafor 3. Ben Gordon

There is some serious talent here. Howard this year: 15.8 ppg, 12.5 rpg. Needless to say... not a bust.

2003 - 1. LeBronBron 2. Darko. 3. Carmelo.

Do I really even need to type anything? There's King James, Mr. underused and Underloved, and the great Syracuse Hope. As Meatloaf likes to say, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

2002 - 1. Yao. 2. Jay Williams. 3. Mike Dunleavy

Okay, so Jay Williams kinda doesn't do shit, and Coach Dunleavy's kid comes off as a whinner, but Yao is unstoppable. Okay, that's a lie. For his first few years in the league, he was threatening to be the new Manute Bol. But now, his communist party chiefs suggetsed he should grow a pair, and start playing like a man. And he did. Count it a win.

2001 - 1. Kwame Brown. 2. Tyson Chandler. 3. Pau Gasol.

So this is the least impressive of the bunch, But Gasol shows some moxy when his foot isn't hurt, and Kwame might have found a home on the west coast this season.

The point is, there is never a BAD time to have a NUMBER ONE pick in the draft. There is always talent to be had, including talent ready to start for an NBA team and make a difference. Which is NOT to say that the Raptors won't blow this pick. I'm just saying, that if they avoid Sam Bowie and take Jordan instead, they'll be hot. Because remember, Jordan was rated below Sam Bowie. God knows why, but he was. So if the Raptors do some god damn due diligence and figure this thing out, they should be fine. Even if BM, noted NBA talent scout, thinks this is a "down year."

PS - Word on the street is that the Raptors are high on some stud from Europe anyways, so maybe BM's thoughts on college players are moot.

On a side note, can Matty Y, our acknowledged horse racing insider, please post something about the Belmont? Please?

Mixed Metaphors with Leo Roth

2006-05-25T20:46:00.000-04:00

In today's sports section, there are three articles about last night's Sabres game, which, I assume, can be attributed to the “I'm going to watch the game anyway, so I might as well bang out a mediocre article and get paid for it,” factor.

My “favorite” was by Leo Roth, a man who apparently has never met a situation that doesn't require a bizarre metaphor that probably should have been taken out by the editor. Here are a few of my favorite lines he uses to discuss how awesome the Sabres were. Those of you paying attention may notice that many of them are not technically “complete sentences,” and may speculate that Mr. Batzold and Mr. Roth went to the same journalism school, but try to stay on target.

”Speed and whirling-dervish hustle that draws penalties from an opponent forced to reach out and touch someone.”

Dirty old man!

”Shots fired so hard and accurate the puck could fly through a car wash, not get wet, and knock a beer can off a tree stump.”

A car wash with a beer can stump conveniently located right behind the exit? Is it in West Virginia? Do they even have hockey in West Virginia?

”Thunderous hits normally seen in Orchard Park...

Delivered by the Patriots, Jets, and even occasionally the Dolphins .

... creating turnovers and whipping the crowd into a frothy brew. “

I'm not a doctor, but that doesn't sound healthy. It does sound tasty, though.

”It was a reverse outcome of Game 2 in nearly every way, right down to the hits, the score, and the frantic ending only the Sabres liked this side of the story better.”

In the online version, there is an additional period in that mess. For a fun game to play at home, try putting one in various spots.

”The hurricane then came ashore when... [Kotalik scored]”

If the hurricane came ashore, wouldn't that mean that the Hurricanes were doing some damage and not down 4-1? Were you even trying to make sense?

Now, I ask, is it fair that this man was paid to watch a hockey game that the rest of us would have had to pay (many) hundreds of dollars off Craigslist for?

Tom Batzold does something cool ... almost.

2006-05-25T20:04:00.000-04:00

In today's “hilarious news blurbs” section, he quotes Dwight Perry from the Seattle Times: “Coincidence? Twins pitcher Boof Bonser made his long-awaited big-league debut with six impressive innings on Sunday, the same day Minnesota lawmakers finally approved a financing plan for the team's new open-air stadium. Conspiracy theorists are already calling it The House that Boof Built.”

I'll forgive the stale news angle this time because of the awesome tag line “The House that Boof Built.” Hell, I wish I had thought of that. Maybe they interviewed Sky for the article?

The headline for this gem:Boof's roof.

While this does rhyme, it totally ignores the fact that an “open-air stadium,” by definition, does not have a roof. Furthermore, the Twins already have a stadium with a roof, and everyone hates it, which is why they want to build the House of Boof.

It appears as if our education system has failed Mr. Batzold somewhere between first grade and Journalism 101, where they presumably mentioned that it is a bad idea to lie in the fracking headline.

BM loves D-train; Randy Johnson is totally killing BM's fantasy team

2006-05-24T23:42:00.000-04:00

Our Boy BM started off Monday's column with this headline:

Yankees should be zeroing in on Willis

Okay, so I know it was really his editor. But still. He followed it up with this...

The undermanned New York Yankees could use a lot of things right now, but no addition would mean more than pitcher Dontrelle Willis.

More than having Matsui and Sheffield back? I mean, there's a lot you can do if your team knocks in 10 runs a night.

The Yankees reportedly scouted Willis in Sunday's 3-0 Florida loss in Tampa Bay. That's no surprise.

True. I mean, teams scout people all the time. Plus the Ynaks tend to have scouts just hanging out with Billy Connors in Tampa all the time.

The penny-pinching Marlins are expected to trade him before the July 31 trade deadline and the Yankees are certain to make a big pitch. They don't have the most prospects to trade but they have the thing the Marlins like most — money.

Tweet. Flag on the play. According to USA Today, Dontrelle makes a whopping $4.35 million this year. I mean, I know the Marlins owners are a bunch of city-hostage-holding, christmas-stealing, multi-billionaires, but would they really shed one of their two remaining draws to only relieve themselves of 4 million of payroll? (On a side note, the Marlins are doing their damnedest to make collective bargining difficult by not spending their revenue-sharing money on real, actual baseball talent. But I digress.)

Willis would be the left-handed starting ace the fading Randy Johnson was supposed to be.

For those who might be wondering, some of Randy Johnson's stats from last year:
226 IP, 211 Ks, 3.79 ERA, 8.42 K/9, 4.49 K/BB, and .697 OPS against. Really a travesty of an acquisition. Or not so much. Now you can argue that he hasn't been up to snuff this year (and he hasn't), but last year he was pretty on point. One might even say he was all he was "supposed to be." I mean, after that whole "punching a camera man" thing blew over. Johnson aside, maybe BM's right, maybe Dontrelle CAN help the Yanks more than anything else right now!

Forget (Dontrelle's) 1-5 record and 5.12 ERA. He's a first-class talent employed by a horrible team.

Wha-what? FORGET what he's done this year? Okay, okay. I'll ignore the W-L record. We know wins are only a stat that Cy Young voters care about. Oh yeah, I mean teams do too, but they at least understand the context.

But let's look at that ERA. 5.12? That's kinda ugly. What are his other numbers? Well, they look like this: 5.12 K/9, 1.64 K/BB (less than half his rate last year), a .750 OPS vs., and a 1.47 WHIP. Overall pretty ugly.

Now, I know that my boy FC will argue that he is more than likely to move more towards his career stats in most categories as the year goes on bla bla bla. And FireCrochester might very well be right. But if the Yanks desperately need pitching help, don't they need someone who has been throwing blazing rocks of un-hittableness, as opposed to someone with talent who is struggling? It seems to me that they have plenty of talented, struggling pitchers already.

BTW, Johnson's stats this year? 1.39 WHIP, 7.04 K/9, 2.45 K/BB, 5.89 ERA, .889 OPS. Not good. But not any worse than Dontrelle. Definitely time for the Yanks to ship whatever is left of their farm, not to mention some Marlin "love money" down to Miami.

BM also throws in this sweet "bold prediction":

A Willis move to the Yankees could be the most significant in-season pitcher move since the June 13, 1984 Chicago Cubs trade sending outfielders Joe Carter and Mel Hall to Cleveland for pitcher Rick Sutcliffe.

How bold was that?

In 20 starts with the Cubs, Sutcliffe went 16-1 with a 2.69 ERA and won the Cy Young Award. The Cubs won the National League East with a 96-65 record.

Oh yeah. That's nothing big. No sweat. D-train can TOTALLY replicate that. Hyperbole much?

It is unlikely that Willis could duplicate Sutcliffe's success with the Cubs in 1984...

You don't say.

...but he'd immediately become the best starting pitcher on the Yankees.

No. Actually that would be Moose and his 2.57 ERA, 6-1 record, 7.97 K/9 and 0.98 WHIP. But thanks for the insight.

Help Us out.

2006-05-23T21:34:00.000-04:00

If anyone is reading this and can provide us with copies of the annual statements of Rochester Community Baseball or the Greater Rochester Sports Authority, please post a comment or shoot an email to firebobmatthews@gmail.com.

Alternatively, if you are familiar with Freedom of Information requests in NY, that'd be great too.

Our Mission Has Grown

2006-05-23T12:20:00.000-04:00

Guys, it's not just Rochesterians that need to be saved from the foul effects of BM -- he's actually read by Twins fans looking for minor league news. For example, Aaron Gleeman quoted Bob at the end of today's post. Aaron's a good writer, and while his comments make it seem like he's not totally buying into BM's writing, this cannot go on.

Stay focused, men.

GAME TIME!

Boof Fans Are Everywhere

2006-05-17T07:49:00.000-04:00

Via FansOnBonds.com

Doug Flutie

2006-05-16T10:18:00.000-04:00

So I was assuming BM would be the first one to propose this ludicrous idea, but even though I don't know much about Mark Kreidler of ESPN.com, I feel compelled to respond. Doug Flutie is not a Hall of Fame quarterback. Not even close. And while I'm sure some fans in Western New York, Toronto, and New England will disagree with this notion, they're wrong.

Now, in fariness to Mr. Kreidler, he doesn't flat-out declare Flutie as belonging in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, but rather his main point of contention seems to be that Flutie shouldn't be automatically discounted due to the fact that his most extraoridinary years came while he was in the CFL instead of the NFL.

"Who gave the NFL the keys to the executive washroom in Canton? Where on the building does it say 'Pro Football Hall of Fame, a Mark Goodson/Paul Tagliabue Production?'

"Doug Flutie might have no more business rushing the steps of the place than Paul Crewe, but I'll tell you what: Flutie had one startling, statistics-grabbing, championship-winning, scramble-matic career in pro football. He just didn't do the best of it in the NFL."

Fair enough. I have no problem with his position that the NFL shouldn't hold sole dominance over a Hall of Fame which, according to its name, encompasses all of professional football. But as Mr. Kreidler later implies himself, the competitiveness of the CFL has never even come close to that of the NFL. Maybe NFL general managers should have wised up earlier and given Flutie a second shot in the NFL long before he brought his Flutie Flakes to Buffalo in the 1990s. If that had happened, perhaps we wouldn't even be debating this point. But the reality remains that, out of 12 years in the NFL (with a number of them coming as a backup quarterback late in his career), Flutie put up all of 14,715 yards, 86 TDs, and 1 notable locker room feid with Rob Johnson. Hardly Montana-esque (or even Moon-esque for you CFL fans out there).

Even as a lifelong hater of the Buffalo Bills, I always liked Flutie a lot. He has Moxie (it's not just a soft drink!), he loves playing the game, and he seems to be one of the minority of players who truly appreciates the game's history. I think the NFL and football fans all over North America will remember Doug Flutie as a special quarterback for a long time. I just wouldn't expect to find anything of his in Canton, except for maybe the ball that he drop-kicked for a PAT this past New Year's Day.

But the scouts say he LOOKS like a ballplayer

2006-05-15T14:28:00.000-04:00

A quick "short shot" from yesterday's BM column in the D and C:

"The New York Yankees actually do have some impressive young prospects, including first baseman Eric Duncan and pitcher Philip Hughes. Would any Yankees watchers be surprised if Duncan and Hughes were part of a package offer to the Florida Marlins for outfielder-third baseman Miguel Cabrera and/or pitcher Dontrelle Willis?”

In case you are interested in any actual, real life, Billy Beane-style numbers:

Eric Duncan - In 110 ABs at Triple A Columbus this year, he is ripping it up with a .533 OPS. (Baseball America doesn't list any other stats for him, so I assume it's Mr. Duncan's first season of pro-ball.)
Phillip Hughes - After a dominating 30 innings last year in High A ball, (30 Ks, .178 average against, 1.80 ERA), he has a 4.50 ERA at Double A in only 2 starts, to go with a .286 BAA.

All of these results smack of small sample size, but the point is that maybe the Fish (or any other team) will want to wait a few more months/years for these two to develop before unloading established major league talent for them. Oh yeah, and maybe the media should chill out a little about how good these (or any prospects) are anecdotally, and wait for them to actually produce. Granted our man uses the word "offer," not "traded," but I suspect he really meant the latter.

BREAKING NEWS

2006-05-15T08:15:00.000-04:00

This just in... BM opened today's column with this gem of a line:

"In my self-assigned role as Sports Commissioner of Common Sense..."

I'm not even a full-sentence into his column and my gut already hurts.

More information to follow as it becomes available.

...commone sense... haha...

Bob loves Derek

2006-05-13T18:44:00.000-04:00

According to Mr. Matthews, ”The 10-year streak of playoff appearances by the New York Yankees appears in jeopardy...”

Presumably because they are leading their division, have the second best ERA and third best OPS in the AL.

”... and it is up to manager Joe Torre and captain Derek Jeter to rise to the occasion after the crushing loss of Hideki Matsui(broken wrist) and short-term loss of Gary Sheffield (sprained wrist; out at least two more weeks).”

The last time I checked, neither one of those guys played in the outfield. Maybe Bernie Williams or Bubba Crosby should rise to the occasion?

”Torre will have to do more managing to manufacture runs with replacement outfielders...”

Joe Torre: “Now that our two best outfielders are out, you guys better score more runs. Also, shave those sideburns.”

Team: “Wait, we could be scoring some more runs. You are such a genius manager, Joe.”

”He'll also need to squeeze maximum performance from a decent, but hardly inspiring pitching staff.”

That is second in the league in ERA.

”It is difficult to understand how so many fellow players could think Jeter is "overrated."”

I am going to indulge myself in some unbiased by fact, Bob Matthews' type speculation, and guess that it has something to do with media types, such as you, falling over themselves to praise everything he does.

”But he's a .315 career hitter...”

Jeter's career OPS+: 121 – above average, but not $20.6 million worth.

”...with Gold Gloves in 2004 and 2005...”

Which should be viewed as definitive proof that the Gold Glove is a joke, and that baseball sportswriters have man crushes on Jeter. Also, this is probably another reason why fellow players feel he is overrated.

”...and is one of the smartest players ever.”

I'm pretty sure Matty Y is smarter than Jeter, but that doesn't make him a good baseball player. He could probably beat Jeter at Baseball Stars for Nintendo, though.

Tom Batzold: NY Yankees :: Brit Hume: Bush Administration

2006-05-13T12:44:00.000-04:00

So, I pull out my sports section this morning to see what our heroes have written, and I am greeted above the fold with ”Wang shines for Yankees,” and since I was too lazy to check the box score last, I thought “Well maybe he pitched a perfect game or something.”

No: 8 IP 2 BB 0 SO 0 HR 0 ER

Ok, so that was a fine performance, but probably not the best of the night:

McClung: 7 IP 1 BB 6 SO 0 HR 1 ER

Santana: 7 IP 1 BB 10 SO 1 HR 1 ER

Smoltz: 9 IP 1 BB 7 SO 1 HR 2 ER

Also on the front page is an unsigned wire article about track and field, which I'm pretty sure most people don't care about, and another wire article about a basketball game involving two teams from other states.

The Rhinos fare a little better than last week, with an actual match preview article from Devo, but it was still buried on the third page.

However, the Wings wrap up from yesterday gets the shaft treatment triple play:

It is on page 5
Even though the game in Buffalo, the D & C was too cheap/lazy to send an actual trained sports journalism professional
The freelancer who they bought the article from is terrible, starting off the article with a bad joke about a UHL hockey team from Michigan. WTF?

We need to give Mr. Batzold a position number so I can start giving out “E(#)s” like WD at a baseball game.

Bob has a secret man crush on and is trying to overcompensate due to his love for hates Barry v2.

2006-05-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

From today's column:

Sorry for the detour, and yes, I hate basketball as much as everyone else but,

”I have no gripes about Phoenix point guard Steve Nash winning his second straight league MVP award (although I would've had him third, behind LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki) .”

Due to the overwhelming lack of evidence cited, I can only assume that you are jealous of Steve Nash's hair. Yes, the plug transplant would probably be a good idea for you, and sure, the hippies had a lot more fun than you did back in the day, but that is being sort of petty, don't you think? Let it go, Bob, let it go.

Anyway, an intrepid fan of Mr. Matthews writes in to tout Stan Musial for the “all time greatest/ I have to fill three pages a week” team. Don't get me wrong, I think “The Man,” is a pretty badass nickname, and I would be pretty happy if a certain columnist/radio host got me a Wings Stan Musial throwback jersey for my birthday (happy belated Sky!), but when Mr. Matthews says ”But anyone who would prefer Musial over Bonds or Foxx would get no argument from me, he really means “I am too lazy to look up their actual numbers.”

Sure, Bonds has a better OBP, SLG, and OPS+ than either Musial or Foxx, but that would be too obvious. Here is one that was pretty striking:

Name SB CS %

Bonds 506 141 78

Musial 78 31 72

Foxx 87 72 55

This “would get no argument from me” line is starting to sound like Mr. Matthews version of “I haven't seen [X] this season so I have no opinion.”

Dear Time Warner Rochester,

2006-05-11T22:43:00.000-04:00

There is this small sporting event in June....

“Hey, you mean Bills minicamp! I think I read a Leo Roth column about that involving bubbling walls of testosterone...”

No! I mean an actual sporting event. The World goddamn Cup, otherwise known as The World's Most Popular Sporting Event will be happening in June, and Disney has taken the unusual step of showing every game live in HD on ESPN, ESPN 2, and ABC.

”Awesome...”

Not so fast; even if I subscribe to digital cable with the additional sports tier, I can't get ESPN2 in HD, where half of the matches will be televised.

If you are out there, please help a brother out. I will call and subscribe tomorrow if you add ESPN2HD.

Thanks,

Brian

Predictions and Evidence

2006-05-11T10:41:00.000-04:00

So I wanted to follow-up a little on the posting that “Football Matty” made yesterday, namely the “fearless sports predictions” that our man BM made on Monday.

Here’s what led off the column on Monday:

Barbaro will win thoroughbred horse racing's first Triple Crown since Affirmed in 1978 and the streak of 14 straight division titles by the Atlanta Braves will end this year.

Alright, so those are some bold opinions. But he’s the paid professional. I assume that he knows more than me about these things, and especially about horse racing.

Barbaro was underrated before boosting his career record to 6-for-6 with an easy win in Saturday's Kentucky Derby.

Wait wait wait. Was he underrated because he wasn’t the favorite to win the Derby? And what races did he win BEFORE the derby? I mean, I don’t know horse racing from a hole in the ground, but maybe you could say he beat some quality horses in his earlier races. Or did he just manage to win the Finger Lakes Classic against Zippy Chippy and 7 other awful horses?

Just for the record, the morning of the Derby, Mr. Underrated Barbaro was listed at 4-1, the 3^rdbest odds of the day. By the time of the race he was listed at 6-1, but everyone else had fallen so far that he was the FAVORITE. How is the favorite underrated again?

The 2006 Braves were overrated from the start of this season and won't win the National League East or earn the league's wild-card playoff berth.

Now, I won’t argue much about whether or not the Braves will win the National League East, but I do wonder how (or why even) they were overrated at the start of the season. Could you back that up? All the prognosticators that I read this spring were predicting death and destruction for the Braves, if for no other reason than Leo Mazzone had bolted for the O’s. In fact, people have been arguing for several years that the Braves were due to lose. If anything, the team has been constantly underrated and doubted for the last few years, not overrated.

Barbaro went off at generous odds of 6-to-1 in the Derby's 20-horse field and had a dream trip to win going away by 6 ½ lengths. Trainer Michael Matz promised his colt would be fresh and fit off an unusual five-week layoff and they delivered. From now on, horse bettors will take him more seriously.

Yeah. More seriously than making him the favorite. They’ll make him the Super Favorite. Maybe they’ll bet that he will both win AND place.

Several fresh speed horses will give it a try that afternoon and a few distance-loving plodders (including Steppenwolfer and Jazil) will take their best shots in the Belmont Stakes on June 10.

AHHH! YES! Actual horses being named. But what’s a plodder? And why does BM discount distance horses. (And yes, “distance” in horse racing seems to be relative.)

There was a lot more to this column, but I think that’s good enough for my first real go around. Basically I just want a little more background on the bold and fearless predictions people are making. Maybe something that tells me more about the people (or horses) involved than I knew before hand. Oh yeah, and it would help if the predictions were a little more “fearless” than “The Winner of the Derby Will Win the Other Two Races” (a prediction made by lots of people every year) and “The 7 games under .500, 3^rd place team won’t make the playoffs.”

One big BM

2006-05-10T14:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, so as part of my inaugural post to FBM, I've decided that typing "Bob Matthews" repeatedly is only going to hasten the onset of carpal tunnel syndrome. Thus, I declare that (at least in my posts), the big man will from this point forward be referred to simply as BM.

Now onto the substance of my post (don't worry, most things I say/write are pretty light on substance). This past Monday, following the 132nd Kentucky Derby (insert obligatory comment about how horse racing should not be discussed on the sports page), BM bravely declared that Derby-winner Barbaro would go on to be the first Triple Crown winner in 28 years. First off, let me give props to BM for accurately predicting Barbaro as the eventual winner. Second, let me say that I know absolutely nothing about horse racing and so I'm not here at attack the prediction itself. This horsie may indeed go on to win the Triple Crown but BM gives no evidence supporting what he describes as a "fearless prediction" other than to say that "Barbaro appears to have the tactical speed and stamina to win both races [the Preakness and Belmont Stakes] if he stays healthy." Back in June of 2004, BM used similar "evidence" in declaring that Derby and Preakness-winner Smarty Jones was "a lock" to win the Belmont and take the Triple Crown. Needless to say, he lost.

My problem here isn't the prediction itself. Rather, I find this to be yet another example of sports writers trying to make instant history out of one singular event. The Patriots are the greatest dynasty in NFL history! The Colts will be the first team to ever go 19-0! The '06 Rose Bowl was the most exciting college football game ever!

To all sports writers (not just BM), CUT IT OUT!

I promise this is the last time I will talk about horse racing.

Test post, v 2.0

2006-05-10T11:08:00.000-04:00

Ah I wish it were football season...

Observations on a Young Baseball Season

2006-05-09T13:33:00.000-04:00

Based on his most recent article, my hypothesis is that Bob Matthews hasn't actually followed the first month of the baseball season and just based all his crazy claims on what happened in 2005.

The five luckiest teams in the majors reside in the National League West, because it is the only division any of them could win. San Francisco is too old, Los Angeles is too brittle and San Diego can't hit. That leaves two improved teams —– Arizona and Colorado — to contend for the right to be crushed in the postseason.

So how does that make the Giants, Dodgers, and Padres "lucky"?

The best team in baseball is the Chicago White Sox because only they have five above-average starting pitchers (Jose Contreras, Javier Vazquez, Mark Buehrle, Freddy Garcia and Jon Garland) and another waiting for a chance (Brandon McCarthy).

Bonus points for realizing McCarthy should be in the lineup (although that was true last year, too), but come on... John Garland was only above average last year. Freddy Garcia's still high, Contreras is hurt, and the Sox will be lucky to have any pitcher finish the season with a sub-3.00 ERA. And yes, Bob, the White Sox did in fact win the World Series last year.

The worst team in baseball is Kansas City. It is difficult for a team to be so lousy at so many things.

Again, this was true last year.

The best young slugger in baseball (Albert Pujols now is a veteran) is Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard.

Wait, the best young slugger is the guy was rookie of the year last year? Crazy.

If 2005 AL Most Valuable Player voters had a do-over, I wonder if Boston DH David Ortiz might outpoll Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez. Ortiz continues to get clutch hits while A-Rod continues to struggle when the Yankees need a big hit.

Bob finally realizes what's going on in 2006 and he thinks it should influence last year's MVP vote? I'm redacting Rickey Henderson's 1990 MVP because, well, he just doesn't steal many bases these days.

Baseball's best hitter unquestionably is St. Louis first baseman Pujols.

Ok, back to wondering if Bob's still focused on 2005.

He leads the majors in HRs (16) and RBI (38) but he's a long shot to win the National League batting title for a Triple Crown. He ranks 15th in the NL with a .314 batting average. He'll pass a lot of the pretenders ahead of him (for example Brad Ausmus, Omar Vizquel, Austin Kearns and Brian McCann) but probably not all of them.

Brad Ausmus doesn't have a shot at the batting title? Well shit. But if there's a Triple Crown category that Pujols is most likely to win, it's AVG. He's a .332 career hitter who has already won a batting title and finished second last year to Derrek Lee who has a broken wrist. Pujols has never led the league in RBI, and will be challenged to do so with a weak St. Louis lineup. And the homerun race? He's never won that either and getting walked at his current pace won't help.

Oakland DH Frank Thomas (.188, 6 HRs and 15 RBI in 96 at-bats) isn't doing much for his marginal Hall of Fame hopes. He still has some pop but his days as a high average hitter appear over.

Marginal Hall of Fame hopes? You're talking about Frank Thomas, the two-tiem MVP? Frank Thomas, owner of a career 161 OPS+ (14th all-time)? Frank Thomas, who put up a Bondsian .353/.487/.729 line and 38 HRs in a strike-shortened 194? Thomas is no-brainer Hall-of-Famer, you idiot. Oh, and his days as a high-average hitter were over in 2001.

Man that was fun. I'm out.

-The FireCrotchester

Bob hates Barry

2006-05-07T18:18:00.000-04:00

This is bordering on too easy, but since we are just getting started, it is good to take a few practice swings.

Check out Mr. Matthews' mission statement in today's paper:

”One of the best things about Bonds being on the verge of his 715th career home run is that it provides us with a timely opportunity to consider the merits of three candidates for "All-Time Greatest Major League Baseball Player"— Bonds, Ruth and Mays.”

Translated: I have a half-page column to fill five days a week and will take any flimsy excuse to jump on the Hate Barry Bonds Bandwagon with a bunch of speculation unbiased by “facts.”

He then tosses Bonds under the bus without considering any of those merits because he was on the juice, unlike Mays whose “biggest selling point” is ”his all-around brilliance and love of the game.”

Ah yes, the old-standby of the Joe Morgan types: back in my day they played for the love of the game unlike the overpaid whiners that are around now, hell they would have played for free, etc. I will ignore his ironclad bastion of rhetoric and move on.

”[Ruth] was headed to a Hall of Fame career on the mound... Ruth...outdueled Walter Johnson...that wasn't a fluke perfomance.”

Career ERA+ Overall Rank

Babe Ruth 122 (80)

Jimmy Key 122 (80)

Walter Johnson 146 (3)

”Ruth is my pick for all-time best baseball player, but anyone who favors Mays would get no argument.”

Unless they talk to someone who actually knows something about baseball.

”Mays was a career .302 hitter and played much of his career in an era favoring pitchers.”

Career OPS+ 156

Barry Bonds: 184

My favorite line of the column: ”[Mays] stole 338 bases and was caught only 103 times at a time when steals were scarce.”

Steals were scarce? Did they move the bases further apart or replace the base paths with the ball crawl from Chuck-E-Cheese? Even so, what the hell does that have to do with anything? By the way, Mr . Bonds had 506 SBs and 141 CSs, for a 78% rate, bettering Mr. Mays' 76% rate.

The end of the section is Mr. Matthews all time team, which is not backed up by any statistics or commentary, and really doesn't have to do with the Bonds/Mays/Ruth argument.

Fire Tom Batzold

2006-05-07T16:42:00.000-04:00

Since I am listening to the Rhinos pregame, Tom Batzold is a perfect target to insult. Mr. Batzold is the Sports editor of the D & C and thus is not only responsible for bringing us the work of Bob Matthews and Leo Roth, and filling the left column of the Sports section front page with "hilarious" excerpts from wire stories (usually several days old), but ultimately for deciding what stories make the paper and where they are located.

In today's paper, above the fold, is a story about a Bills defensive tackle, which is OK, since I guess there are some people who care about football in May. On the right is a wire article about Sabres forward Derek Roy/Rue-ah, which is cool except that game 2 isn't until Monday, and that he played here, so we already know how to pronounce his name. The Wings recap is at the bottom.

In the middle, with the largest picture, is another wire story about the Kentucky Derby, an event which:

-isn't actually a sport
-has no local connection
-takes all of two minutes
-can be read about on/in any number of websites and publications

Bourbon is really all it has going for it.

At this point, you may be asking, "Brian, aren't the Rhinos playing tonight? You know, the most popular Rochester sports team based on average attendance, winners of four straight championships at one point, and one of the five best run sports teams in the world. Doesn't a preview of the match belong on the front page?"

My answer: "You're goddamn right.” Instead, there is a three paragraph, six sentence item on the last page of the section. Way to go Mr. Batzold. I would probably hate my customers too if I had your job.

WD says we need goofy handles

2006-05-06T10:48:00.000-04:00

I'm not so sure I agree, but we came up with Captain White Hot, and I think Dr. Garbage plate would be pretty good too.

Ideas?

2006-05-04T23:41:00.000-04:00

Can we do comments RSS?

/random thoughts fueled by guitar hero failure.

Test Post

2006-05-04T11:41:00.000-04:00

Hey, the good news is I tried to look up a Bob Matthews column online and he hadn't written any of the five available on the Sports page. Looks like Josh Bolton's playing for the Rhinos this year.